41 Cute 'n' Flattering One-Piece Swimsuits That Won't Make You Look (Or Feel) Like A Grandma

It's taken me years to fully appreciate something a camp counselor once told us 6th-graders, as we were sitting dockside, swatting mosquitoes and avoiding canoeing: "Bikinis just put it all out there at once while one-piece swimsuits leave something to the imagination. That's what you want to do--you always want to leave them wanting more." 

(I'm fairly certain she was hoping to get a different kind of you-should-hold-hands-until-you're-in-high-school message across with her sartorial analogy, but I focused in on the clothes.)

Now that I'm on the anti-bikini bandwagon, I've have spent more time than I'd like to admit scouring the interwebs to find my version of the swimsuit Holy Grail: a coquettish one-piece swimsuit.*

Turns out, they're about as rare as a pair of comfy stilettos.

Sure, there are plenty of scandalous options out there--and tons o' suits that would fit in perfectly at the senior swim hour at my local YMCA--but it's been hard to track down a one-piece that hits that sweet spot of sexy yet sophisticated, fitted yet flattering.

I logged some serious time this season, doing some online sleuthing for the best one-piece swimsuit, and I've come to the decision that a bathing suit from one of these five categories is a pretty safe (emphasis on pretty) bet:

Retro floral one-piece swimsuits

 

Thank you, Mad Men et al, for making vintage shapes (including hourglass) more than a passing trend. I love the flirty, covered-up look--and if you doubt the sex appeal of these boyshort suits, just Netflix Gidget and just try to keep yourself from dyeing your hair blonde, driving out into the California sunset and shacking up with a surfer. 

(Vaguely) retro (vaguely) nautical one-piece swimsuits

More '50s-inspired gems for all you Sandra Dee lovers out there, this time served up with some nautical pizazz. Stripes! Polka dots! Opportunity to use sayings like "Ahoy, mate!" while wearing! What's not to love?! 

 

Plunging neckline one-piece swimsuits

This one's a dark horse in that it's deceptively flattering: While it may seem wild and crazy, the extra-long halter straps elongate your bod while the flash of, ahem, decolletage makes for a nice contrast to high-cut backs and conservative "there's nothing to see here, move along, move along" rears. Probably best for flat-chesters like myself, or else it can veer into scandalous territory. 

 

Color-block one-piece swimsuits

This kind of style always remind me of '90s Baywatch, which is inherently sexy, in that sporty, sun-drenched way. Plus, the "blocking" in these color-blocked suits are often strategically placed, and so streamline the bod here, add some curves there. You know. They help a girl out. And of course, it just looks cool. 

Scarf-print one-piece swimsuits

Some patterns are more helpful at hiding pooches, rolls and bumps than others. (Some polka-dots, for instance, are actually little devils: I tried a polka-dot suit on yesterday, and when I exhaled, the wee little dots expanded into big balloon-shaped dots. Not really a cute look.) Scarf prints, on the other hand, tend to hide things well. Plus, they're all boho and exotic, so even if you find yourself in an unsexy spot (like sitting in your backyard or on your roof, cooling off with your feet in a kiddie pool) you can imagine you're somewhere fantastic, like Capri or Ibiza or something. 

These five styles get my vote for cute 'n' flattering one-piece swimsuits. How 'bout you? Do any of them catch your eye? Are there any other one-piece lovers in our midst? Did you score a cute suit already this season? Don't you think they're more suited to some pretty young thing like yourself (as opposed to a shuffle-boarding septuagenarian)?

* Listen, don't even get me started about the price of swimsuits. By definition, they are incredibly expensive, all of them out there, in the world. It's one of life's greatest, most perplexing mysteries. Second only to the fact that they only made one season (?!?!) of My So-Called Life.

 

via: glamour